2011 snapshot: Living My Dream

Once upon a time there was a writer who felt creatively valued, spiritually encouraged, and challenged to bring her very best song every time. And sure, recorded songs and royalty checks would be nice affirmations. (You should have seen my hallelujah cartwheel in the living room the first time I got a check in the mail... I recall it was for $7.18.) This week I realized that I am, as my mom congratulated me the day I left town, "living my dream."

This week I spent two days in Kansas City at Nazarene Publishing House, the larger company which houses Beacon Hill (the book side of things), Lillenas (the music side of things) and Consuming Worship (the record label). I got to meet the people, the creative collaborators, the artists, and even the people who control the printing presses ... so essentially start-to-finish from conception of a CD to printing of a project on which my songs are recorded. Here's my travelogue, for those who are interested. For those who don't speak songwriterese, here's the short version: I had an awesome time!!!

I drove six blissful solitary hours south to KC and picked up Dave Clark, my publisher, at the airport. We drove to the Plaza area and had dinner at Brio. We talked about our families, songs, ideas, current projects, my songs and how they are impacting churches and individuals, my friends and co-writers' songs and how they are being used (I have so many talented friends I admire!!) and upcoming ideas and projects and how I might become involved in the writing process. It was, in all its creative essence, a Celebration of Songs. I am so happy for my friends and cowriters!!! The Ashes to Fire project is being used nationwide as churches and even a few colleges are ordering a copy for each person on campus. I am not a numbers person so the facts and figures Dave shared soared right over my head. But I got the message that this was impacting people. So happy for that.

We talked about my upcoming solo project, which I will be recording in June. The last time I recorded a full CD was in 2001, the year after Nick and I got married. It was a dream come true in itself, and a good snapshot of that time -- creatively and newlywedly -- but I have dreamed of recording again... this time taking the snapshot of my passion for writing hymns, newly written and oldies refreshed. So, getting to talk about that with Dave and see it coming true in the near future -- what a gift!! It's really gonna happen, and things are coming into focus.

Tuesday morning I was up early preparing my heart and mind for leading worship at NPH. They had invited me to come on behalf of all of the Sunday Best writers, and lead at their employee chapel service and share a few songs from the Ashes to Fire project. Since it was the day before Ash Wednesday, it was a great lead-in to a season of repentance, surrender, contemplation, and renewal. Merritt Nielson, the man behind the Ashes to Fire dream of churches following a study and songs through the Lenten Season, spoke on the difference between confession and repentance. He spoke of the joy of repentance, the gift of God's kindness that leads us there, and the joy we find on the road to Easter and Pentecost. I soaked in every word and appreciated that time so much. Dave played guitar with me and I sang "When Amidst The Storm I'm Shaken" and "Our Desire." The chapel lasted from 9am to 10am. The other Sunday Best writers had all committed to praying during that hour... for songs, for this project and its impact on the church, for upcoming writing ... and as I prayed with and for them across the miles I felt the gift of creative spiritual community. Love that.

One more thing about the other writers on Ashes to Fire ... I want you all to know that Merritt Nielson said "Tell your writers they were SPOT ON in their lyrics." This was very meaningful because the devotional material was written independently of the songs. We all had the same scripture references as the author, but seeing how God orchestrated different aspects of each passage, without doubling or being redundant .. the Light illuminated all different corners of truth, and still were woven together seamlessly. Fellow writers, be encouraged and be blessed by that affirmation!!

I also want to encourage my friends who are songwriters at any stage in the creative journey. Your songs matter! Your writing matters! I got to see faces of the listeners of my songs. That doesn't always happen, but it reminded me that God has much bigger plans for our songs than we do. Perhaps we have been setting the bar not too high, but too low... hoping to get a "cut" or a single song contract. Set the bar HIGHER -- ask God to change a life through your song. Maybe that life is under your own roof, or sitting in your church, or living next door. Or maybe He will minister to you, the writer, and use that beauty and art to reveal himself and change you!! And we, the writer, may never know our song's impact. Let's all dream big, and seek more humility, not more fame. God is faithful -- He will do it!

After the chapel service, I got to talk with several people -- from Dr. Hardy Weathers, the president of NPH, to people who worked in marketing, sales, graphic arts, and the printing press. I am a documentary junkie, so I was in heaven walking through the printing room, watching the massive machines work, smelling the scents of ink and metal, seeing how the Ashes to Fire book (among hundreds of other resources) is manufactured. And the actual building and campus is great -- beautiful and artistic and eco-friendly. :-)

I also squeezed in a video shot of me telling the stories behind my songs. I would rather go to the dentist than be video taped, but these guys had done so much for me... I couldn't say no! Of course I looked awkward and stumbled over my words, but editing is a lovely thing. :) I think the videos will be on the Ashes to Fire website on the corresponding weeks of Lent and Easter.

Here's a picture of me signing two song contracts -- a worship anthem and a Christmas anthem. I usually get these in the mail and then send them back. This time, I got to do it in person and meet Mark Brown, VP of NPH, whom I had only known previously through his signature. Doesn't this songwriter look happy?!

So after the campus and the tour of the company, Dave (Creative Director) and Tim Curtis (Director of Lillenas) and I went out for lunch at PF Changs. Yum! Dave ordered us lettuce wraps -- a marked improvement from my first dining experience with him which included twinkies, pepsi, hot dogs, and other abominations. :-) We talked more about upcoming songs and projects, and celebrated the writing family we have come to know as Sunday Best. SB writers, please know you are celebrated!!!


All in all, it was a great trip. I kept thinking "this is not supposed to happen to a stay-at-home mom from Iowa." I was so grateful and eyes wide open to this rare treat. Ten years ago I would have not believed you if you told me I'd be doing this -- writing songs for curriculum and choirs and artists and devotional books -- but I am thankful, and hold it with an open hand. I don't know how long this season will last, and like any songwriter I fear that I just wrote my last or best song. God gives, God takes, and I will bless His name! So moving forward, I just want to be faithful to my gift, as He has been faithful to me. After all, what can I give but what He has given me? What can we write but what God has written? What can we create but what He has breathed into? I must depend on God, the true and better author, artist, and creator.

So today, I as I am sitting in my messy kitchen, kids giggling my life's soundtrack, laptop nestled between lunch dishes and piled up mail, a song is faintly calling in my mind, asking to be written. I am living my dream. The neighbors might see some hallelujah cartwheels through the front window....